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  • 😵‍💫 A.M.Y.L. Up Your Donger (T-Shirt)

😵‍💫 A.M.Y.L. Up Your Donger (T-Shirt)

Regular price £45.00
Unit price per
Tax included.
✨⚡️ The D.A.R.E. campaign always cracks us up. All those scare tactics, anti-queer undertones, and pointless moralizing—and for what? To fail spectacularly. A.M.Y.L. UP YOUR DONG EVERY SINGLE DAY is our little nod to just how ridiculous that messaging was. They tried to shame people like you for leaning into who you are. This tee celebrates it instead.

😈 For the dedicated gooners, this shirt is your commitment. A reminder of the endless cycle you’re trapped in and addicted to. Stroke after stroke, edging for hours, sinking deeper.

😵‍💫 Your brand new bate tee. Ding. Put it on, drop into the zone, and start stroking. Every single day. 💦

🧵 100% cotton
🔴 Sport Grey: 90% cotton, 10% polyester
🩸 Ash Grey: 99% cotton, 1% polyester
🔥 Heather colors: 50% cotton, 50% polyester
⚖️ Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²)
🧶 Open-end yarn
🔄 Tubular fabric
🪢 Taped neck and shoulders
✂️ Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem
🌎 Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico

⚠️ Each piece is crafted specifically for you once the order is in, because instant gratification just isn’t as satisfying. By making products on demand instead of churning out bulk stock, we keep things exclusive, reduce waste, and add a delicious little delay that makes the reward even sweeter.

Size guide

  LENGTH (inches) WIDTH (inches) SLEEVE LENGTH (inches)
S 28 18 15 ⅝
M 29 20 17
L 30 22 18 ½
XL 31 24 20
2XL 32 26 21 ½
3XL 33 28 22 ¾
4XL 34 30 24 ¼
5XL 35 32 25 ¼
  LENGTH (cm) WIDTH (cm) SLEEVE LENGTH (cm)
S 71.1 45.7 39.7
M 73.7 50.8 43.2
L 76.2 55.9 47
XL 78.7 61 50.8
2XL 81.3 66 54.6
3XL 83.8 71.1 58
4XL 86.4 76.2 61.5
5XL 89 81.3 64.3